What Representation Actually Changes

Representation is a word used so often that it has almost stopped meaning anything. What I can describe is the specific thing that happened after a plus-size academic in her thirties was crowned.

The messages were all the same shape

Women wrote to say they had decided something was not for them. A pageant, a stage, a doctorate, a saree they had kept folded for years. Almost every message contained the phrase I did not think someone like me could.

It removes a false rule

That is all representation does, and it is not small. It does not hand anyone a talent or an opportunity. It removes a rule the person had accepted without ever testing.

The barrier is rarely the door. It is the assumption that the door is not for you.

Who it works on

Students, mostly. A lecturer who is also a title holder makes the categories in their head less rigid, and a few of them then apply for things they would previously have skipped.

The responsibility side

Being visible means being watched, including by people looking for a reason to dismiss you. I have accepted that as the cost, and I try to be careful about what I claim, because visibility without honesty helps nobody.

What I would like it to become

Ordinary. The goal is not more women being called brave for existing publicly, it is a stage where a body like mine is unremarkable.